I started this post with a thought that “mommyblogger” is an inclusive term about an exclusive club. Of course, I didn’t finish that post that way, so I’ve decided to go with that thought here.
“Mommyblogger” is a term that began in reference to women who blogged almost exclusively about their children. They told endearing stories of first steps, potty training and sleepless nights. Most mommybloggers were stay-at-home/work-at-home mothers with younger children. They craved adult interaction and sought it out online. It worked for them and a specific blogging subset was born.
And though many “other” bloggers are mothers, who also stay at home or have in some way been cut off from regular adult interaction, the term didn’t really apply to them unless they blogged about their kids and families. Some women, who are bloggers but didn’t identify themselves solely as mothers, rebelled against the term because they were more than just mommies—political bloggers, technology bloggers, personal bloggers—all could have been included in the “mommyblogger” club, but didn’t want that distinction.
Mommybloggers communed in a big way amongst each other. They connected over dirty diapers and soiled bedsheets. They became a targeted demographic by the marketing companies because of their wider audiences (other mothers who were seeking exactly the same things). Money was to be made and freebies to be had. Mommyblogging evolved into a business.
Blogs popped up with “Mommy” attached to the name “Cooking Mommy”, “Tech Mommy”, “Chic Mommy”. Mothers who had previously rebelled against the term were suddenly embracing it. They wanted in. Stories about children were told, because one must tell the stories to be in the club. Instead of women simply being empowered by other women because they were women, they were embraced for their reproductive status. Yes, they were lauded for their expertise in other areas, but many of them were included only because of their mother-identification.
And then there are the women who are mothers to children older than 5. The stories they tell of their children aren’t nearly as cute as the stories of the babies. Everyone loves babies, but not everyone cares to hear about Jane’s identity crisis as a teenage girl. These are blogging women, but they’re not “mommybloggers”. Even though their own children once called them “mommy”.
I have never wanted to be in the mommyblogger club. I’m a little too crass for some of the sensitive souls that blog hop through that part of the blogosphere. And I’m not really interested in what someone else’s child pooped out this morning. I am a mother, though, with two girls: one age 18 years and the other age 4 years. I don’t talk much about them at my other blog (and won’t here) because I started blogging for the adult interaction when I was a stay-at-home mom. And my interests don’t include "Dora the Explorer” and whether children should be vaccinated or not. I’m interested in empowerment of women as a whole group, though, so I have peeked in over there occasionally (hence this post). Most recently they seem to be focused on marketing, branding and getting the attention of corporations which has caused a slight rift in the community. They are arguing because so many new “mommybloggers” have joined their numbers in search of quick money.
Why are they surprised? Why is it wrong for newer bloggers to make money for their motherhood when so many have cleared the path for them to do so? Because of disclosure? Honesty? When I see a mommyblog now, I don’t just see a cutsie theme with lots of badges declaring their mommyhood. I see marketers trying to sell something so they can reel in their next client. This is true for almost every mommyblog I’ve visited for at least the last year. Some of those women aren’t able to jet around the country to conferences and employ nannies/cleaning women to help them at home. Some of them are trying to supplement their income without leaving the house. They will do the posts sans the “disclosure” for the money/products if that’s what the advertising agencies want. They didn’t start their blogs for the love or ethics of it.
As someone who isn’t a mommyblogger and who doesn’t market her “brand” I have become so accustomed to the paid “conversations” that I expect all mommybloggers to be getting products for the “review” posts they write. I assume it first and if it’s not a paid review I’m usually surprised. To me, a woman who loves politics and technology, the term mommyblogger has evolved from “Hey! I’m a proud mom who wants to connect” to “Hey! I’m a blogging money who will tout your product to other mommies doing the same.” I don’t necessarily see the ick about it, except that I’m still not going to stick around for too many posts.
